To the editor:
Many in our community have shared with me their feelings and reactions coming out of Lincoln’s recent annual Town Meeting—reactions which have included sadness, anger, frustration, and confusion, to name a few. We in Lincoln hold as a community value the inclusion of all, and yet many neighbors in town experienced that value tested against publicly expressed perspectives that felt elitist, classist, and/or racist. In turn, that experience sits side by side with a desire to not “other-ize” those we may disagree with, those who might otherize us, even those who we might experience as offensive.
In the midst of so much division that already exists in our country, how do we navigate divisiveness in a loving and even healing way? How do we actually live into the values that our community holds, creating the inclusive environment we all seek? There are no “perfect” answers to these questions, but I’d like to offer a few guiding principles.
First, we meet reality where it is. Lincoln is a great town, a “desirable” community. It has a rich history, beautiful natural environment, and guiding values that are worth taking the time to both understand and live into. And Lincoln exists within the United States of America—a nation that has been having very serious and socially divisive conversations on issues such as the increasing class divide in American society and structural barriers that help perpetuate endemic poverty and racial oppression.
We in Lincoln are a part of those national conversations; like every city, town, and village in America, we are a microcosm of the whole, with good people along the whole ideological spectrum, with good people who are struggling to figure out how to talk to one another, listen to one another, and leave that experience with a mutual sense of being valued and “seen.” The struggles and needs that exist in our nation right now exist here in Lincoln.
As we navigate those conversations, we must be clear that “winning” is not the point. As an American people, we have learned to be satisfied if we feel that we have “won” on an issue, and dissatisfied—even angry and indignant—if we feel that we are on a “losing”’ side. Winning has become more important than relationship, more important than learning from one another, or collaboratively seeking a greater good. Bipartisanship is practically dead in Washington, D.C., and has been for some time now.
That national reality is mirrored at the local level throughout our country. We cheer on our favorite political orthodoxy, applauding ideological purity and entrenchment, while efforts at building cross-ideological bridges are deemed a waste of time. We are left in bubbles talking most regularly with others who think like us, stepping outside of those bubbles to be surprised that close by are neighbors who might hold a diametrically opposed view or life experience.
Our community and our nation need more from us than this, and I believe there is good cause to feel hopeful because we already hold as a town value, and in my congregation as a community value, one of the most important ingredients to a better future: the value we place on genuine inclusion and the understanding that Lincoln is a town where all are welcome and included. This is mirrored in the value that my congregation, the First Parish, is a religious community in which all are spiritually welcome and included. Living into that reality is quite hard, but also a beautiful and worthy aspiration.
It is more than just patiently listening to someone we disagree with or find disagreeable; it involves listening for the sake of learning. What does this other human being, my neighbor, this person who is inherently valuable, value? Why do they care about the things that they care about? How can I personally ensure that they know that I have “seen” and heard who they are and what they value? Ideally, building the world we yearn for needs all of us listening, doing, and acting in these life-affirming ways. But in the absence of that, we can trust that even one of us behaving in these ways can have ripples of impact that we cannot predict. When we honor the light of others, our own light shines brighter, radiating out into the world in ways that will have a positive effect.
William Ellery Channing is credited with having said, “Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.” May we each find ways to allow legitimate difference to help us grow more deeply in our relationships with one another. It is in this way that we hold the possibility of bringing alive peace, love, and hope for ourselves and our wider world.
Sincerely,
Rev. Manish Mishra-Marzetti
Senior Minister, First Parish in Lincoln
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