My Turn

For the past two years, it has been my privilege to serve as president of the Sudbury-Wayland-Lincoln Domestic Violence Roundtable (SWLDVR) and see firsthand the courage, tenacity, commitment, and generosity of both those whom we support and the many who support the Roundtable.

Our mission is to promote safe and healthy relationships, raise public awareness about abusive and controlling behaviors, and end relationship abuse in all its forms. We could not move towards achieving our goals — to educate communities, support agencies that provide services to survivors of domestic abuse, network with other concerned groups, and mobilize community leaders — without the support of our communities.

The numbers of reported domestic abuse incidents have risen sharply during the pandemic, and strains on survivors and service providers have increased correspondingly.

In addition to everything else they face, survivors are experiencing job losses, health concerns, financial instability, and increased domestic pressures. As front-line workers, providers have continued their work while worrying about their own health, sick family members, and grieving the loss of loved ones.

And yet, amid all the darkness, the best of human nature has been displayed.

Financial donations have increased. The Holiday Gift Drive, Shower for Shelters, and the Valentine’s Gift Bag Project have been supported in ways that clearly demonstrate “the kindness of strangers,” the generosity of the community, and the enormous commitment of our volunteers.

During October (Domestic Violence Awareness Month), purple lights (the color of courage) illuminated public and private buildings in Sudbury, Wayland, Weston, Framingham, and Weston. Banners encouraging us to Shine a Light on domestic abuse were displayed in Sudbury, Wayland, and Lincoln. Residents of Lincoln placed purple bulbs in window lamps.

As we move into 2022 and on behalf of the Roundtable, I should like to thank firstly and most importantly, the community members of Sudbury, Wayland, and Lincoln who have shared their lived experiences, resources, and talents.

Next, we are deeply appreciative of the support received from town leaders, civic organizations, local businesses, and members of the faith communities.

Finally, thanks to the following for their continued support and generosity: the First Parish in Wayland Lydia Maria Child Fund, the Lauren Dunne Astley Memorial Fund, Brad Keyes of Keyes North Atlantic, Inc., the Saia Family of Sudbury Wine and Spirits, Ace Hardware Wayland, Lincoln Chief of Police Kevin Kennedy, and Lincoln Town Administrator Tim Higgins.

For information on ways to support the SWLDVR, or if you or someone you know needs help, please go to our website at www.domesticviolenceroundtable.org.

Sincerely,

Sue Rushfirth
President, Sudbury-Wayland-Lincoln Domestic Violence Roundtable
P.O. Box 543
Sudbury, MA 01776

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“My Turn” is a forum for readers to offer their letters to the editor or views on any subject of interest to other Lincolnites. Submissions must be signed with the writer’s name and street address and sent via email to lincolnsquirrelnews@gmail.com. Items will be edited for punctuation, spelling, style, etc., and will be published at the discretion of the editor. Submissions containing personal attacks, errors of fact, or other inappropriate material will not be published.

By Lawrence H. Climo, M.D.

I’ve been frustrated and angry for some time now — it’s July 2021 — over the crushing and inescapable toxicity of our political discourse, and I feel certain that my helplessness in this climate isn’t mine alone.

I know much has been written about the origins of this toxicity and not enough about a way out — an operational and viable way out. I haven’t come upon any, anyway. Recently I convinced myself I’ve been overlooking something in my efforts to find a realistic path to becoming unstuck. I’d overlooked a part of me, a part I wasn’t supposed to look at, that hiding place we call our blind spot. I’d searched enough into hopes, wishes, and dreams and came up with zip. I’d looked into my experiences with healing. Again, zip. This time I decided it was time to look into that place where things couldn’t be seen.

By “blind spot” I don’t mean a place we tune out. I mean the place where stuff gets blocked out of our awareness because it’s unbearable. Their downside is that they’re not under our control. (“Denial” is its other name but denial, unfortunately, has a bad reputation even though it buys time for continuing normal functioning until we feel ready to face… whatever.) Anyway, I’d come to think of blind spots as the place for temporary healing, as a sort of pre-programed field dressing or healing place instinctively applied when we’re blindsided with the unbearable. I should add that those dressings have a half-life. Over time they can seep into our awareness, in disguise of course. The disguise wasn’t a problem for me. I knew immediately the strategy to detect it.

I lay in wait and then grabbed hold of the first subtle and sneaky nervous symptom that entered my awareness. (I knew it would take that form. It had happened before.) Now relaxed and confident, I let myself play with that symptom. It wasn’t difficult to trace its roots.

Its roots weren’t any physical or mental traumatic event. They were nothing more than a vague sensation of discomfort that I’d routinely tuned out and that, over time, evolved into anxiety whereupon it became permanently blocked out. That anxiety had become FEAR.

Fears, of course, have no words. We give them words or names to enable us to grab and get a hold of that feeling and feel in control. This realization reminded me how difficult and misleading those sanity-saving words can be, and how difficult it can be to use them properly, let alone wisely. (Here, my story becomes more dicey.) The ways to articulate that “feeling” involves blending facts with fantasy. The upside is that our blend brings peace of mind. The downside: it brings peace of mind to us but, inasmuch as it’s including non-facts, the other guy becomes even more frightened.

The solution to my problem became clear. I’ll try to spell it out by beginning with this familiar toxic promoter. Republican leaders in Congress make the most of what they have, and do what it takes to pursue a political agenda promoting a diminished government presence. This is what politics is about and Democrats in Congress and their supporters know this. They know Republican leaders in Congress are not corrupt, in denial, or deranged, but simply playing the cards they’ve been dealt. That’s what parties do. But, to listen to Democrats and their supporters, you’d think they were unaware of any value to what Republicans in Congress seek.

The flip side, it seems, is equally true. Republicans in Congress and their supporters know that Democratic leaders in Congress are prioritizing their political agenda which features a more hands-on government. But, to listen to Republicans in Congress and their supporters, you’d think Republicans were unaware of any value for America to what Democrats seek.

It’s as if supporters of both parties are simultaneously ignoring the fact that our progress as a democratic nation rests on compromise, that fine-tuning process that creates a balance between differing visions of equal value. Unfortunately, pursuing and maintaining that balance has for some time now been unnecessarily and dramatically replaced by our persistent win-lose strategy.

From this perspective, I see no fault lying with the politicians, parties, supporters, the press, voters, or even foreign meddlers or imagined conspirators. The fault, as I’ve come to see it, lies with our singular common denominator, our national common denominator, our familiar and addictive American metaphor. I refer to our hierarchy-heavy metaphor that declares: we are Number One. We are the Greatest Country Ever. Think of it. This is the metaphor whose dramatic fight-to-win directive and right-wrong/winner-loser orientation, not to mention its stand-your-ground and stay-the-course endorsements, are as addictive as they are inspiring. That is the box we’re in. It’s a place of reassurance and empowerment, to be sure, and still a box, but the catch is that we don’t even know we’re in it, let alone stuck there. That, I believe, is because it feels too much like a noble mountaintop, a heroic place where we’re supposed to be. But, truth be told, it’s also the place we’re afraid to leave. Our toxic discourse is rooted in that fear.

As a result, instead of striving to recover a balance, we persist in losing our balance and tilting too far to one side. And, while we maintain the strength to resist being pushed all the way down, we’ve lost the strength to stand up straight.

I’m beginning to consider now that the good news is that we might be just one step from recovery. In the story “The Emperor’s New Clothes” by Danish author Hans Christian Anderson, it took only one onlooker, a small child, a voice of a future generation, to make that happen. He simply said the obvious — “the emperor is wearing no clothes” — and instantly, everyone was able to not only see this but to say so. And they did.

What if we, the majority of Americans, are like the crowd at that parade — reluctant to see inside our blind spots, but ready to? Unable to admit we’re no longer Number One, but ready to. Unwilling to confess we’re not the greatest country ever, but ready to. Unwilling to say we’ve done bad things but ready to? What if all that’s needed is for that majority of us to own up to all this, and what’s keeping us from doing that is fear of finding ourselves alone? What if that’s the big delay, the reason the toxicity persists — that we’re waiting for the other fellow to say it first? Let “Mikey” at the breakfast table, that innocent child, be the one to go viral. I’m thinking that’s what it will take.

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“My Turn” is a forum for readers to offer their views on any subject of interest to other Lincolnites. Submissions must be signed with the writer’s name and street address and sent via email to lincolnsquirrelnews@gmail.com. Items will be edited for punctuation, spelling, style, etc., and will be published at the discretion of the editor. Submissions containing personal attacks, errors of fact, or other inappropriate material will not be published.

We, former members of the Lincoln Board of Selectmen, support the warrant article as written and endorsed unanimously by the current board:

MOTION under ARTICLE 24
Board of Selectmen / Citizens’ Petition

Moved: That the Town vote to amend the Town’s General and Zoning Bylaws to change the name of the Board of Selectmen to the “Select Board,” by striking out, in every instance in which they appear in reference to that body, the words “Board of Selectmen” or “Selectmen” and inserting in place thereof the words “Select Board”; and by striking out, in every instance in which they appear in reference to Board members, the word “Selectman” and “Selectmen” and inserting in place thereof the words “Select Board Member” or “Select Board Members”; and further to authorize the Town Clerk to make non-substantive, ministerial revisions to ensure that gender and numerical issues in related text is revised to properly reflect such change in title; provided, however, that regardless of such nomenclature, said board shall constitute a board of selectmen for purposes of the General Laws and of any special law applicable to the Town.

Respectfully,

Penny Billings
Peter Braun
Roz Delori
Noah Eckhouse
Renel Fredriksen
Sarah Cannon Holden
John Kerr
Sara Mattes
Kathy McHugh
Peter Sugar
Beth Ries
Gary Taylor

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“My Turn” is a forum for readers to offer their views on any subject of interest to other Lincolnites. Submissions must be signed with the writer’s name and street address and sent via email to lincolnsquirrelnews@gmail.com. Items will be edited for punctuation, spelling, style, etc., and will be published at the discretion of the editor. Submissions containing personal attacks, errors of fact, or other inappropriate material will not be published.