By Travis Roland
If you’re wondering where Lincoln’s elite athletes seeking unrealized dreams are on Sundays, you can find them at Codman Field playing slow-pitch softball. Join us each Sunday at Codman Field at 6:00pm (weather permitting) and cheer on your neighbors as they run, crawl, and sometimes limp around the diamond with the hope of getting their name on the Codman Cup championship trophy in July. Pull up a chair/blanket and have a picnic! Boomboxes, signs, and obnoxious noisemakers encouraged. Autograph sessions available after the game.
Season update
Despite either extreme rain or obnoxiously high temps, the season is underway and the annual neighborly and healthy competition has arrived. It’s anybody’s year as the league’s four teams carve out their own path to final victory. Thanks to a record 20 first-time players, the league has never been healthier, and the games are usually decided by one or two runs.
South Lincoln’s gritty Ottoman Umpires are off to a hot start thanks to a suffocating defense and solid hitting — not to mention getting an edge by sleeping in their uniforms the night before games. The currently first-place Os are anchored by their follically challenged captain, Travis R., who according to legend is so cool that when he was born, he named his parents instead of the other way around. The feisty Os are known to wear down opponents with bad Dad jokes and surgical hitting thanks to having Chris B. on the team, who really is a surgeon.
The OUs’ prize off-season acquisition, who goes by Whatsa, will enter her first game this week after a lengthy signing bonus dispute. They don’t know her first name, but supposedly, her last name is Matter. Makes sense.
The OUs’ crosstown rivals, the Chiefs, are brilliantly led by Tricia M., who puts the X in GenX and are a force once again, despite some of their players missing games by actually choosing work/family over softball. Inconceivable.
Opposing teams need to bring their A-game to beat the Chiefs since hits are hard to come by, and they always seem to find a clutch at-bat when they need it. All-Star left fielder Brian D. made his season debut this week after recovering from lower-back tattoo removal, and picked up where he left off last year by blasting extra-base hits all over the outfield. Not to be outdone, the blazing speed down the basepath of Brian’s other half, Brianna D., usually results in panicked overthrows and more runs.
The revamped Trail Blazers are the league’s most improved team thanks to the leadership of their manager, Tricia T.W. Tricia is such an undeniable force that when she is late for work, everyone else gets in trouble for being early. Everyone needs to bring to play mistake-free softball to beat them, as they are known for capitalizing on errors. Veteran pitcher Marshall C. keeps batters on their toes with his confusing ‘gyroball’ style pitches, and does a great job of getting batters to ground out to the vacuum cleaner combo of rookies Devin and Anna, who suck up hitter’s dreams of getting to first base safely.
The Mighty Knights are like a powerboat going to sea — slow at first, but once it gets above water, it’s fast, agile and a force. Don’t let your guard down against them or they will mercy-rule you before you know it. Opponents are finding out the hard way that you can’t hit it to Gold Glove winner Clint “Daisy” E. at third base and expect to be safe. Apparently, they call him Daisy because some daisy plays injury free, and some daisy can’t. Nonetheless, any team would love to have him on their roster, which could actually happen since he is in the last year of his rookie contract.
Their inspiring captain, Terry K.E., is slowly building a powerhouse that once it gets all of the pieces in place, will be the team that nobody will want to play come playoff time.
Still time to join
Good news! There is still time to join! We are offering a steep mid-season discount of only $25 to join a team. All skill sets and awkward throwing motions accepted. Equipment provided, just have a pulse (and maybe Aflac).
Why play? One player said it best when describing a game, “It’s like a two-hour break from the real world with friends that I normally wouldn’t have met.” Register here.
Travis Roland, a Wells Road resident, is commissioner of Lincoln Co-Ed Softball.
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Love this sports -writer fast talk! Sounds like a real Lincoln game. Thanks, Travis.